Sundays at 9am & 11am The Hub- 2595 Simmental Way

Venture Group

Week of: February 16, 2014

Sermon Series:  Tying the Knot

Sermon title:  Conflict

Introduction

Welcome to our current series “Tying the Knot”.  We are excited that you are going to ride along with us in this series as we dig into what the Bible has to say about relationships.  It doesn’t matter if you are married or single, this series will have a lot to offer you.  The Bible has a lot to teach us to help us improve the various relationships we are in.  Lets take some time to learn from one another and grow our personal relationships with Jesus.  As always, you can listen to the past sermons here.

Prayer

Please open your group with prayer.

Ice Breaker

What is the most interesting thing that happened to you this week?

Discussion

Conflict arises in all relationships at one time or another.  Using the analogy from last week that our relationships are like teams, it is important to realize that it is what we do with the conflict that can build a team or deconstruct a team.

If you are willing, please share with the group how you deal with or handle conflict.

What should we do when there is conflict?

The bible has a great deal to say about conflict and conflict resolution.  Please read the following verses out loud.

Matthew 5:9

Colossians 3:13

Matthew 7:5

James 4:7

Some of us avoid conflict while others seem to thrive on it.  When conflict happens in a relationship there are ways to deal with it that are healthy,  and some that are unhealthy.

Conflict avoidance is unhealthy because it leads to fake harmony.  While thriving on conflict is also unhealthy because the tendency is to focus on the person causing the conflict rather than the conflict itself.

Have you ever known a relationship that seemed to have a fake sense of harmony?  How did  you feel about this relationship?

What are some healthy ways to deal with conflict?

Take some time to discuss the following things with your group and the possible benefits from remembering them when faced with a conflict.

1.  Remember God is about building and restoring relationships.

2.  Identify the conflict first, not who the conflict is with.

3.  Take the conflict head on, not the person head on.

4.  Surrender your will to God’s will.

5.  Love the person that the conflict is with, and deal with the conflict together as a team to claim victory over it.

6.  Do not try to resolve conflict without God.

7.  The evidence of your love for the person will be that you will fight fair and force calm.

Let’s look at the concept of “forcing calm.”  There is no better time than during a conflict to speak out.  Some of us are quick to speak, even the truth, but where is the love?

Please read the following verses aloud.

Proverbs 15:1

James 1:19-20

Proverbs 29:11

Ecclesiastes 7:9

What do these verses tell us about forcing calm?

Application

People deal with conflict in different ways.  Some people won’t stop talking and others won’t start talking.  It is important to know which tendency you have.  Be thinking about this as you go about your week.

Discuss among your group which person you are, the talker or the avoider.

Ladies, find a woman of credible character to speak with.  Gentleman seek out a man of credible character that you can turn to for support.  This means that they have healthy relationships and can speak the truth in love.  Having someone that will just tell you what you want to hear won’t help you.

If you identify with the person who will not stop talking, then work on listening when you are in a conflict.  Also find your friend of solid character that you can speak to when you are confronted with a conflict.  This person needs to be someone who you can confide in and verbally work things out with before you can confront the person that the conflict is with.

If you are the person who is not willing to speak up, and you find yourself avoiding conflicts, you need to work on confronting your conflicts.  Remember that avoiding it is pretending that it does not exist.  Conflict must be talked about so that it can go away.  Find your friend of solid character that can encourage you to deal with these things in your life,

Prayer

Please take prayer requests and close your group with prayer.