Two Principles to Understand:

Emotional and spiritual intimacy really matter in your marriage

You have a true self and a false self

Genesis 2:25

Your true self leads you to live “naked and unashamed” in your walk with God and in marriage

Genesis 3:7

Sin: Attempting to secure for yourself what only God can give you

Your false self lives in shame and tries to secure freedom by hiding

The false self creates fantasies that collude with the hiding

Zach’s “List of Standards” (i.e. fantasies) for marriage

Shorter than me

Multi-lingual

Latina and exotic

Adventurous

Smart, but not smarter than me

My wife, Aryelle:

Taller than me

Monolingual

White

Home body

Smarter than me

There is a you who is in Christ (true self) and a you who continues patterns of the flesh (false self). Christian marriage invites the vulnerability necessary to chip away what is false, revealing the true you hidden in Christ.

Ephesians 5:25-27

Ephesians 5:21-24

Submission is about a heart attitude more than simple obedience

Being naked and unashamed with your spouse involves risk. Only relationship with Jesus provides the security to resist hiding throughout the life of your marriage.

For husbands: Ask your wives, “When do you feel your most true, radiant self in God when we are together?”

For wives: Ask your husbands, “When do you feel most seen and supported by me emotionally and spiritually?”